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Stages of Lockdown Isolation - a relative experience

Posted 2/7/2020

Are you noticing how your reaction to self-quarantine and lockdown restrictions shifts as the weeks roll by?

Perhaps you have had highs and lows but not really understood the reasons for the changes in your endorphin levels? Perhaps you thought other people were being even more difficult than their normally difficult selves?  Some may even have considered getting over-the-counter hormone therapy.

I searched the internet for information and did not find very much. Here and there an article – some by mental health practitioners and some by economists. The latter obviously trying to predict when profit margins will begin to recover. The psychology articles I did find were not very useful. Many of them tried to force-fit the isolation process into the five stages of grief. To the extent that we have lost income, jobs and opportunities, the grief cycle would definitely apply. There is however something seriously different about the isolation caused by a pandemic and trying to collapse it with the grief cycle seems silly.

Unfortunately, the articles were all written by white academics who speak to the stages for the privileged losing a few pleasures and selectively-protected rights. In a reality where some lives are more equal than others, even the right to safety is selectively protected. We are certainly seeing that in South Africa with our surfer dudes and promenade joggers equating their needs with those in 3km queues for food. For those who have to choose between infection and starvation, the stages of lockdown is not remotely a consideration. Those of us who spent decades of our lives denied access to the beaches that were “reserved for whites” and now “reserved for the non-poor” really don’t have any sympathy for people moaning about their human right to surf.

Furthermore, the articles I read were based on observations in the USA and Australia: countries which are birthed from genocide, nourished by super-sized fries and sustained by branded propaganda will have a very different reality to Africa and war-torn countries. How the stages of isolation calibrate for you is entirely related to your level of privilege. Your experience will be determined according to how stuffed your backpack of rights was at the beginning of lockdown. At best, we can design stages within the levels of privilege.

I read a few articles about the impact of isolation on people doing doctorates and astronauts floating around in space for weeks or months. You may have heard the term “Third Quarter of Isolation” mentioned on Australian news networks recently. This term comes from studies conducted with astronauts. The third quarter refers to stage three of the four stage process.

In simple terms, the middle-class’ four stages of lockdown could look something like this:

Stage One – Confusion and Panic
This is when the news of the Covid-19 hit home and we realised it was not far, far away. Our hospitals began to shut down planned surgeries and grocery items disappeared as panic buyers freaked out. Rumours and fake news filled our WhatsApp feeds daily. Conversations were restricted to matters of the virus. We began to calculate how many hospital beds were needed per province. Finally, the lockdown was announced and another wave of panic buying began. Last visits and medication collections were our main activities. The first week or two of the lockdown created relationship challenges as we were suddenly quarantined with family members we normally could escape when they began to irritate us.

Stage Two – Settling in Honeymoon
In this phase we found ways to deal with the annoyances of our new reality – that is assuming you are not a victim of abuse in which case you would definitely not have honeymoon joy. Assuming you were in a home and had food to eat, you may even have started enjoying your new easy-living lifestyle. Suddenly there is no morning rush, traffic jam and school drop-off. If you were fortunate to have an income you may have welcomed the work-from home flexibility and stress-free salary. Baking, cooking and crafty activities may have provided a creative outlet and suddenly you are realising how good this pandemic is for your spiritual health. You even consider the idea that home-schooling will be good for your free-spirited child. You begin a gratitude journal. You release your control, breathe out and let it go! The lockdown is about to end and we wait for the president and his crazy mask.

Stage Three – “The Third Quarter”
What? The end is nowhere in sight. Five phases of lockdown and my career will only operate at phase two or phase one. My savings won’t last that long. I have no savings. Unemployment is going to take ages to pay out. I am working from home and earning a salary but I am missing my colleagues. It’s been two months since I saw the people in my life. I am at the end of my tether but the virus is only now beginning to spread in South Africa. The social distance queue outside every store is just too much so now I must do without things I am dependent on. I am not even collecting my medication anymore. Paying school fees while you are teaching your own child suddenly seems like legal robbery but you don’t know what to do. Is the virus even real?

This is only phase four of lockdown and we could go back to phase five. So maybe this will continue for the whole year. I can’t do this for a whole year! I am too depressed, irritated, frustrated, angry to speak to anyone. I don’t do the calls anymore. I am tired of the baking, cooking and crafting. I need to just be free to go wherever I want and connect with people without feeling like I am breaking the law.

Stage Four – Future is in sight
There is some hope that the heavy restrictions will be lifted. We have things we can look forward to and anxiety is abating slowly. We know what our losses are and we know what we can salvage from the lockdown wreckage. At least we can start to plan a way forward in the new normal which is becoming clearer. Even in this recession, at least we will be able to see family and friends without being arrested. We can finally begin to get our lives back on track beyond covid-19. We survived the virus! Our energy is focused on a future of some sort and we are no longer in limbo.

Depending on your personal context of course, you may or may not be able to identify with the stages. The third-quarter may or may not help you to understand why you have suddenly hit a low after doing so extremely well in the creative, mindful and pseudo-evolved state of stage two.

Given our social conditioning about planning, succeeding, achieving and control, homo sapiens are incredibly focused on the future. We don’t know how to be present in the now and we hate not knowing: stage three pins us down in the not-knowing. It rattles the cages of our conditioning.

South Africa has a phased approach to lockdown with phase five having the most severe restrictions and phase one the most lenient.  We are currently in phase four and phase one is very far away! With the numbers rising and services closing daily due to infections, phase five is scarily close. So the limbo of the third-quarter remains because we actually have no idea what tomorrow will bring.

In the context of social inequality, the stages of lockdown are entirely subjective. When your existence has been criminalized in the past you will relate to the restrictions differently. A right by its definition is inalienable. When a human right can be granted or withheld it is revealed as a privilege. While we are all affected by the lockdown, it will express itself differently in these disparate environments.

HOW IT WORKS  audio 

The Online Journal Therapy Programme is designed to support your journey of self-discovery and personal growth.  We explore journal therapy techniques and work with topics using the expressive writing process.

After you book and make payment on Yoco we proceed as follows:

  1. You will receive a personal invitation on Google Chat.  (you require a Gmail account to access the programme)
  2. I will send a link to the 30-minute journal therapy orientation audio which you will listen to in your own time (normally sent two days before the journey starts).
  3. You will then be added to the Google Chat Group on the date of your event by 9 am.
  4. I will send a link to the instruction audio which explains everything you need to know about the Introduction Journey (or relevant follow-up journey).
  5. The first day is only for introductions, technical support and logistics.
  6. The journeys are 7 or 11 days and you work in your own time each day. 
  7. Both require only 4 days of writing for 15-30 minutes per day - no more than two hours in an entire journey.
  8. In the 11-day journeys, we have reflection days which provide more time to reflect on the prompt.
  9. You receive coaching and support throughout the process in the Google Chat group.
  10. We end each process with a Google Meet audio/video call (depending on the group's needs) to debrief and receive input and guidance.

Other journeys follow the same process with minor changes.


The Online Journal Therapy programme is not a substitute for medical treatment.  Where serious mental and emotional challenges exist, professional medical assistance is required.  Participants may be encouraged to seek medical assistance if the need becomes apparent during their participation.  Participants are not obligated to share medical conditions but may advise the facilitator privately to raise awareness and sensitivity.