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A selection of blog posts

Know Thyself and Find Your Light

Life gets a little easier when you know the game plan or at least have a sense of it. Life is by nature unpredictable, often disorienting and it can leave us shaken and confused. Without some vague idea of what makes us tick we can be tossed about at the mercy of the winds of change and pulled every which way by the undercurrents.  To know thyself is to have the clues if not the answers to plaguing questions. Just like we know that we like chocolate and dislike vanilla we can know why we experience the world the way we do when questions come up. Knowing how our past experiences have affected us and how we see the world is one of the layers. Understanding bits and pieces of our personality type provides incredible answers. Some people are happy just knowing their sun and moon sign. They figure out many things from just that bit of information. Read the article




Everyday Magic for Everyday folks

We become aware of the magic when we begin to consider the possibility that we are incredibly connected to the people and the world around us.  We begin to experience the magic when we pay attention to and act on this connection.  We learn to use the magic when we let go our pretenses and begin to explore all of who we are.  All of who we are includes our fears, courage, sadness, joy, anger, compassion, shame, pride and so on.  Our lies and our truths are all in there.  The exploration and acceptance of ourselves enables us to see with greater clarity the unbelievable connection of the people, events and circumstances of our lives.  Strangely, the more the mystery of confusion leaves us the more the mystery of our humanity unfolds.  Read the article

The Blessing of Not Coping

Arrggghh …. I am just not coping!” is a very familiar expression in my life.  Most often when I shout it out loud it is less serious and more a way of letting off some steam.  When I am really not coping I often don’t say a word and I sink into a pit of despair as my options seem to compete for “worst idea of the day”.  I walk around and carry out tasks and responsibilities like a robot programmed to follow orders.  My mind is somewhere else trying to figure out yet another way out.  I go over the options I already considered and invent a few new and more desperate ones. I am not sure how long it takes exactly but there comes a point when I realise my Titanic is going down and moving the deck chairs is not helping me.  Some would consider this the moment of accepting defeat.  I am not so sure I would use those words though.  It feels more like the moment when insight, courage, wisdom and faith break through the thick clouds of fear and doubt. Read the article

Surviving Projections from Others

When you become the target of another person’s projection, get out of the way!!! No amount of reason or logic and explanation will stop the bullet.
Very simply explained, a projection is when we blame others for or place on them the things we are unable to accept and deal with in our own lives. We may blame others for the very things we do or resent them for things we secretly consider ourselves to be lacking in. In short, the stuff we can’t deal with is dealt with through another – the target. 

Read the article

The stories less told

Telling our stories contains more power than we could ever imagine.  The telling of a story and listening to a story involves more brain functionality than any other method of sharing information.  Story telling requires no charts, no PowerPoint slides or flash cards because it activates the brain’s own capacity to produce the imagery and connections to make sense of the information. Read the article




Making peace with healing

Essentially the journey home is a journey of healing.  In some cases, there are intense traumas and remarkable tales of survival that spark the need for healing.  In other cases, it is the ever so subtle experiences causing hurts that we need to heal from.  For most of us, it is somewhere between these two extremes.  Living our lives inevitably means we are going to get a few scratches and bruises along the bumpy road.  Even the person intoxicated with denial has a few batterings that could do with some recovery.  In their case, the need for healing is usually obvious to everyone else because they are the ones who experience the impact of those unhealed wounds. Read the article




Unto each their own journey

The journey of life is a very unique one indeed.  Our life stories are filled with intricate details, adventures, personalities, circumstances and histories.  The purpose and the meaning of our lives is viewed through all of these to create even more unique flavour to the journey.  There are so many people we can relate to as they share experiences, thoughts and feelings very similar to our own.  Then there are those who we listen to with absolute puzzlement and we wonder how this person operates and where they come from.  Read the article







Seeing myself everywhere

It is incredible how many times I have seen a post on a blog or a website which seems to capture my exact thoughts and feelings on a subject or an experience. Normally, I am elated because it means someone has gone through the trouble of capturing my thoughts and expressing my emotions. . Although not often, there are times when I feel like they stole my words and cheated me out of expressing it myself. Lately, I am seeing it very differently.

Extremely trying times over the last year have led me to do some intense inner work. Financial challenges and a second divorce have wreaked havoc with fibromyalgia flare ups. These are but a few of the challenges which conspired to direct me to a very dark night of the soul. Thomas Moore in his book Dark Nights of the Soul so aptly describes my experience.  In this dark night of my soul I was forced to change my intelligence.  Read the article



Inspired by being uninspired - uncovering fate

What does the period of non-inspiration look and feel like? For me, there are physical signs like the fact that my writing desk has become a storage area for things I am meaning to pack away. Other physical signs include busyness and focus on the beckoning of the outside world. Psychologically, it means that I am preoccupied with doubt and self-limiting beliefs. Each of us have our own set of self-limiting beliefs that operate during the periods of low or no inspiration. Those beliefs are part of a very complex framework which we cannot delve into here. They include everything from our relationship with our parents (primordial relationships) to the purpose and intention for which we created our blog (conscious choices we make) in the first place. In my case, I enjoy writing and use it as a tool for self development and engaging with my creative, intuitive self. I choose to blog it or make it public because I am a social being who enjoys connection with others. Sharing my writings have proved helpful for others from the feedback I get and this satisfies the teacher and counsellor aspects of my makeup. I am Jung at Heart – meaning that my psyche or soul finds much of its answers through the teaching of Carl G Jung. These teachings reveal that we are often driven to do things and not to do things by forces that we are unaware of. That is a scary thought right. A famous quote by Carl Jung says;

“Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”

Read the article



Conscious engagement never lost, never wasted

CONSCIOUS ENGAGEMENT is never ever wasted. I had to prepare a summary of what I do for a brochure of a conference I will be speaking at. I speedily typed it up and then read through for typos. I paused when I read the line “Ms Benson engages extensively with the global community to strengthen the work in South Africa.” In that moment I realised that every effort on this and that meeting enables me to speak. Every message and comment from you flavours my words. All the teleconferences I attend at EST with burning, scratchy eyes informs me of the world work. The connections I have in India and Israel, California and Norway, to name but a few, all come together in an intricate web which supports and informs.  Read the article


Discipline and conflict with children - a minefield for the adults

Overhearing a snippet from a documentary on Lady Dianna, as I whisked the dust cloth over the television, I heard one of the contributors make this comment; “why do we pretend that the gap between childhood and adulthood is so big when in fact it is very tiny?”  The comment has plagued my conscious thinking today and no doubt caused a stir in the sub-conscious and shadow so aptly explained by Carl Jung.

And if we were to accept this view that the gap between adult and child is so very tiny it would follow that those pesky little critters we call triggers would have us be back in pigtails and school shirts in an instant.  After some years in the counselling room, on both sides of the couch and just from my everyday life I must agree.  It is not so much that there are many triggers or that triggers have a great mysterious power.  Rather, that this gap between adult and the unresolved child is in fact so tiny or more accurately put, so obscure, that it does not really take much of a potion to conjure up a time warp or dreaded portal that has us back in the past in a flash. Read the article